I sincerely believe that I know why Google’s PageRank update is late - because it has been replaced. With what? It isn’t a very well kept secret. Google mentioned it once back in 2002 and it was met with much skepticism. I put my faith in the big G, however, and now that the PageRank update is M.I.A., I believe Google is now ready to unveil their new system:

PigeonRank.

If the sight of over a dozen computer-literate pigeons doesn’t convince you, I’m not sure what can. The fact is, folks, that Google is sick of their search engine being gamed by SEO. To me, it looks as though they are doing away with inbound links altogether and instead counting on these extremely intelligent pigeons to determine a page’s rank. This will, of course, bankrupt many dot-com companies who make a living off of Google’s PageRank and thus will send the internet into a frenzy. Computers connected at the time will likely vaporize or be sucked into a black hole. The earth will explode. The pigeons have work though, so that pleases me. No more bread crumbs in the park!

People, please stop treating PageRank like the second coming of Christ. “When’s it coming? When? Please Lord Google, save us!” Google has their own company to worry about and a reputation to uphold. It isn’t their job to bring about sweet salvation in the form of a shiny new PageRank so more crap sites can try and pull advertisers in. Concentrate on your content and let your traffic do the talking.